


River Song and The Black Spot

by CanIMarryAlexKingston



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s06e03 The Curse of the Black Spot, F/M, Love, Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-03-29 05:58:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13920831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanIMarryAlexKingston/pseuds/CanIMarryAlexKingston
Summary: What if River and the Doctor encounter a creature similar to the one in the curse of the black spot? Set just after River kills the Doctor. When their marriage is put to the test can the Doctor prove that River's fears of his commitment to her and their proposed marriage aren't real and prove his love for her. Multiple Chapters.





	1. The ruins of Matrimonium

**Author's Note:**

> River - Just after The Wedding of River Song  
> Doctor - About 10 years into their marriage

He'd turned the blue boringers on for once, wanting to surprise River, his lovely, beautiful wife who he hadn't seen in a few months and had been missing dearly. He thought a surprise trip would cure his thirst for her. He spun the monitor round just to double check she wasn't off gallivanting around the universe with another him or getting into trouble somewhere else, though as he did this he was forced to stop at what his eyes saw.

She was sitting on her bed staring at the rain pounding against her window, she looked so utterly sad and hopeless, like she was lost at the background of the universe. That had him. River Song was the light of his world and he would do anything to remove that look from her face, his hearts just wouldn't be able to take it any longer if her face remained stuck in that forlorn expression; even her marvelous curls seemed to be weighed down and lifeless.

He was on Uxorem II a few weeks back and had come across an old castle in a wonderful state of disrepair and ruin and his first thought was River would love this. As he processed the thought he quickly dismissed it. No way was he going to help partake in River's awful interest in archeology. No siree. But now that thought didn't even cross his mind, he was willing to do anything in his power to rid her face of that emotion, and if it meant taking her to those ruins then so be it.

River hadn't even noticed the Tardis parked just outside her cell; she almost seemed to be stuck in a trance. It was only when he stepped out into the corridor, his footstep echoing around them, did she look up. Shock was the predominant emotion upen her face, he could see brief flickers of disbelief, anger and hope amongst it but her face continued to remain in the same position: mouth agape, bulged eyes and eyebrows raised, she didn't even blink.

"River?"

She seemed to freeze even more, her whole body tensing up this time. It was only when he'd opened her cell and walked up to her did she gulp and then quickly jump into his arms. He was suddenly met with two armfuls of River, not that he was complaining at all. He tightened his arms around her and pulled her impossibly closer into his body, reveling in the feel of her. It had been so long. And it seemed to be the same for her. Her hands were moving up and down his back, touching his collar bones, spine, hips almost as if she couldn't believe he was there. Her hands settled in the loose curls at the top of his neck as she laid her head against his chest - listening to his heartbeats.

He was so happy to have her back in his arms, it had been so long. But as he rubbed his hands up her arms (sleeves? Why was she wearing sleeves? She never wore sleeves) she jumped backwards and he suddenly felt very empty. His hands fell useless to his sides as he stared back at her. She wouldn't meet his eyes. Well he wouldn't have that. He kissed her on her cheek before grasping her hand and pulling her into the tardis. Her relatively empty diary lay forgotten on her bed.

"Right, I'm taking you out River. Special trip just for you. Now go shower and change, don't want to get those prison garbs dirty now" he remarked hands flying wildly over the console as he plotted their destination.

He heard no footsteps behind him. While his wife may be a trained assassin she still weighed something, the metallic floor was very hard to be silent on. Trust me, he's tried. Never trying to sneak up on Amy again. He turned around to spot River still stood by the door, not having moved an inch aside from leaning slightly to rest one of her hands against the wall, as if she was adsorbing the comforting feeling of his other wife; who seemed to be humming insistently loud around them.

She was still awfully quietly and subdued and he was growing increasingly worried. "Riv?" he coaxed, beginning to walk towards her only to be stopped by a trailing wire. He fell into the jump seat with a loud bang as he knocked a spanner off the seat. The vibrating clang seemed to break River from her trance (once again) and she quickly fled down one of the corridors in the direction of their bedroom.

He landed them alongside the temple and waited around, hands unconsciously fiddling with whatever he could find on the console. River returned 15 minutes later and all he could do was stand there openly staring (she was his wife, he had the right? Right?). Her curls had returned back to their wonderful, uncontrollable state andhad been left down over her simple yet elegant tank top, jacket and jeans. Only his wife could pull off double denim, even he'd tried and he couldn't. And he could pull off a bow-tie - but then again bow ties are cool. She looked radiant, he couldn't help but notice her curvaceous figure, how did she manage to remain so tiny yet muscular and full whilst being locked up in prison? The guilt began to eat way at his thoughts one again. "You look... ermm clean?"

One day he'll be able to tell her how he really feels, soon, he promises. She deserves everything he can give her and more. All he can do is just silently admire her for right now, secure in the knowledge that she is his wife. Though as he caught her face fall before quickly being masked in an emotionless stare, he felt the guilt reach unbearable levels. So he ran, like he always did, to the door and gestured to the world beyond, the only gift he could give her right now

"The ruins of matrimonium" he exclaimed, pointing to the overgrown and barely visible ruins of a castle she could barely make out between luscious green trees and vines.

-=+=---------=+=-

They'd explored all the upper floors of the temple, uncovering some (regrettably) rather interesting archeological pieces. River seemed to cheer up as they ventured through yet still seemed reserved and holding herself back. In his final effort to improve her mood he took her to the bottom of the castle where he was hoping the treasure room to be, he had never known River not to love something shiny and sparkly.

As they climbed through a gap between the wall and a tree, that had somehow grown through one of the walls of the corridor, he spotted a large door to the right that looked promising. He pushed River in front of him as he sonicked the door open. As they walked into the large chamber he felt an odd feeling of danger that he couldn't place despite knowing they were alone, the castle had been abandoned for centuries.He brushed the thought from his mind and focused on what he could see or more like what he couldn't; nothing but a brief outline of his wife. Although within seconds large torches seemed to ignite themselves along the walls of the room casting light over the centrepiece. And what a centre piece it was, piles of goblets, coins, armour, jewels and crowns were stacked feet high around them; casting glittering, dancing specks of light over the both of them.

He stood there, admiring his beautiful wife as small flecks of light danced on her in time with the wavering flames of the torches; and the small insistent humming sound. Humming sound? What was that? He didn't have time to dwell on that as he spotted a small black circle on the palm of River's left hand. His memory kicked into action as he ran forward and grasped her hand, not noticing when she flinched more than necessary.

"Doctor, what are you doing?" River implored, tugging her hand out of his grasp.

"River where did you get that?" he questioned with an obscene amount of urgency, pointing at the circle on her hand.

She looked down, suprise lighting up her face. "Oh, I don't know, I guess I must of touched something earlier, nothing to worr..worry." River said gulping, her right hand reaching up to her throat. Suddenly the sense of danger he felt earlier made sense as gears clicked together in his mind. He knew something wasn't right, it was the air. He made to turn around and pull River out of the room but the door had shut behind them and by the time he'd turned back round to River she was on the floor, her knees having buckled beneath her.

"River!" he shrieked, failing down beside her and pulling her into his arms. He grasped one of her wrists in an effort to pull her back towards the door when he felt it. Her pulse. It was slowing down. The air was stopping her heart. He panicked, he grabbed River and was seconds away from pulling her over his shoulder and lifting her out of the room when he heard it. A song. The most beautiful song; a song that he's heard before.

That's when he looked up and saw it, a girl draped in white robes that hung of her figure and stopped just above the ground, she looked ethereal in origin but he knew better. He'd seen it before. The black spot it all made sense now, the creature was like the siren he encountered with Amy and Rory. He looked down at his wife, who even though she was dying was making an effort to crawl towards the creature who in turn was floating towards her. He could do nothing but watch as the Siren and his Wife vanished into thin air.


	2. The Fairytale of Duo Corbidus

"River!"

Oh god. She'd gone; they'd both gone. Why was he panicking so much? He knew she'd be safe, if he was right and the creature was like the siren he'd encountered before then she'd look after River. But what if she couldn't? River was special, she wasn't like the ingenious life forms of this planet, she had two hearts. Time Lord. She was his, bespoke and all. He had to stop; panicking wouldn't help him get to her faster.

He plonked himself down on the crumbling stairs - his fists scrunched, hitting his forehead repeatedly. Think, think. He'd said something earlier, something important. "Ruins of Matrimonium". That's it! He's in the duo corbidus district. The land of two hearts. He always believed it to be a fairy tale, designed to attract tourists to the planet.

If he remembered correctly it went something along the lines of this. 'The Kingdom of Matrimonium was special, the royal family were said to have been bestowed a gift from the gods themselves who had looked upon their kingdom and rejoiced. There was no hunger, no poverty, no violence just a carefully balanced co-existence of life: no animals were slaughtered, farmers were given fair pay and the royal family treated everyone equally and with an open-mind. Their palace gates were always left open to the citizens of the Kingdom and even to travelers from outside the walls. That was until one day the daughter of the king, only a young girl at the time, ventured outside of the walls and vanished; into the forest that stretched endlessly around them.

The gates we're closed. The doors locked and sealed - no one was to escape the walls. The King sent men to search the lands, every nook, every cranny. But they never found her. The King grew illiberal with grief, everything within the palace was controlled, no one did anything without his consent. The Kingdom fell to ruins quickly and remained that way for many years. Until one day a creature, said to be a god herself, returned with a girl: claiming to be the missing princess. For it was true, the gift bestowed by the gods had helped her return home. She had two hearts. The gods had changed the bloodline of the Royal family and given them two hearts. Two hearts to store all their love they had for their Kingdom. The gates were open and the Kingdom rejoiced, the lost princess had returned home and all was right in the world. The creature was treated like a hero and became a well-respected member of the community, who's healing powers were said to rival anyone's in the land.'

The creature. The creature, the god, the hero was the Siren. The Siren saved the young princess and returned her home but why was it still here? And why the treasure room of all places. Unless.. no.. that's despicable, inhumane but genius all at the same. All he had to do was find it now, it was somewhere here, somewhere in the ruins but where... he had to find River, there was no time to waste. The Tardis of course. She'd have blueprints or even better she'd fly him straight there, she always has had a soft spot for River: suppose she is her daughter, the daughter of time itself.

The Doctor bounced up, sonicking the door open on the way and ran to where they'd left the Tardis. For someone with terrible spacial-awareness, he always seemed to flourish in the moments that counted. As he bounded along he double checked through his thoughts, nearly grimacing at what he'd understood.

He'd gathered that if the fairy tale was true then the kingdom of matrimonium would one day become legendary and people would flock from all over the land to see it, though he proposed some had very poor intentions for when they arrived. The castle doors were always left open so the treasure room wouldn't have been hard to access. That's where the siren comes in, it all makes sense now, that low frequency buzzing noise he'd heard earlier confirms his theory. They had trapped the siren there, using a frequency fine-tuned to the Siren's hearing to expel signals of distress and pain. Ultimately trapping the siren in the room, tricked into believing there was a patient somewhere in there who required it's attention. But there never was unless there was an intruder, an intruder who intended to steal the Kingdom's riches. That's were the toxins in the air come into play, the toxins were dangerous and fatal to anyone without a duo-respiratory system. Both he and the royal family would be able to enter the room without any consequences, their respiratory systems able to filter out the toxins without any harm coming to them but River (despite having two hearts) does not have the duo-respiratory system so was susceptible to the toxin: which appeared to quickly shut down her heart.

It had taken him a little while to think of where they would of taken her but that was most likely because he hadn't thought a small planet like Uxorem II was capable of something so despicable and vile. But alas he was wrong. If you were a king or queen and had captured a perpetrator, intent on stealing your jewels and wealth were would you put them? The dungeons of course, whats the point of sending them somewhere to heal from their injuries only to have to move them where there was a small possibility of escape, why not just send them there straight away? This was the point where he released the audacity of what the Royal family had done. Instead of locking them away where they still had the tiniest sense of freedom the prisoners would remain trapped, trapped to a machine like he saw on the spaceship. No way to start their heart again: the toxin having destroyed it, the machine most likely acted like a pacemaker and just kept them pumping with electrical pulses: much like a rudimentary 21st century Earth pacemaker. Therefore the prisoners punishments would be to remain bed-bound in a dungeon until they grew old and died, the siren keeping them going for as long as possible, most likely well longer than the average life expectancy of the Kingdom or they could unplug themselves, killing them within a matter of seconds. It was despicable.

Ah the Tardis! The light seemed to almost glisten and shine off it's pristine blue surface, his savior in his moment of despair. The Tardis seemed to sense his rush because the door hadn't even clicked closed before it began taking off, he pattered the old girl, in the spot where River had leant against it earlier. She always took him where he needed to go. As soon as they had landed he was out of the door, and into a dark, moist dungeon, mold and mildew was everywhere and vines and weeds had crept in somehow and had made themselves at home in the many, many cells that littered the room. He gulped when he realised that every cell had a bed and atop each one was a skeleton, a skeleton of a person who had either killed themselves or had died after many, many years of entrapment, knowing they'd never see the outside world again. He shook his head, he couldn't help them now, but he could help River. She was here somewhere.

He walked with intent up and down corridors searching inside every cell, his hearts clenching tighter every time he caught side of a skeleton, fear settling inside him. Fear that perhaps he arrived too late and she'd been here for years, centuries or worse she'd cut the power. He almost let out a squeak of joy when he caught side of a large mop of glorious curls atop a bed in one of the cells. He sonicked his way inside and was mere centimeters away from touching her when an piercing shriek came from behind him, he turned to see the siren, her once white ethereal clothing bathed in a red glow, face turned up in a scowl directed at him before she went pass him and tendered to River, checking over the machine that he knows is controlling her heart beats. He could only now hear the repeated beeping of the machine, the only source of comfort around him as he listened to the dual beating of her hearts.

He tries once more to reach her, only to be shrieked at once more. "She's my wife, please let me help her." He pleaded. The Siren continued on, ignoring him, as if his comment held no value. He supposed it didn't, he had no proof, no ring, nothing to prove he was a married man. He never thought it mattered before , he'd never seen River wear a ring before and had just always presumed she'd never wanted one and therefore he never wore one or gave one to her, he never really thought it'd had mattered until today. He supposes he always did get a little jealous when River flirted with other people but he knew a ring on her finger wouldn't stop that, River would flirt with anyone, he thinks with a small smile that it might even challenge her further, wanting to see how far she could take it. His little minx. He doesn't think he ever wanted to partake in a simple Earth custom more than now in any of his lives.

There was no where to sit so he learnt against one of the walls of the small cell, careful not to learn against a spot where a rather persistent group of lichens had suctioned themselves to the damp wall. He didn't know what to do, how could he convince the Siren that her patient, the glorious, amazing woman lying awfully still on the small bed was his wife.

It was only when he looked up from where he was staring at the heart beats on the screen that he noticed River wasn't quite so still anymore, her fingers were twitching and her head was shaking side to side ever so slightly. His hearts clenched as he knew what was happening, the guilt didn't seem to clench it's tight grip around his hearts as he realised he couldn't do anything to help her. She was having a nightmare.

The Siren seemed to realize what was happening and floated over towards his wife, her fingers resting on her temple. The contact must of lasted for seconds before she was pushed back through the bars of the cell. The Doctor's hearts clenched the tiniest bit as he felt the tiniest sense of pride, even immobile and unconscious his wife was unbelievable strong. Temple? Wait, that's it, that's how he'll save her. The Siren was telepathic, he can show her their wedding.

"Look into her mind, we're married, wife to husband, husband to wife, look into her memories, the wedding." he pressed, pointing at River's temple.

The Siren seemed to understand what he was playing at and floated over to him first, to confirm the date and his viewpoint. He quickly put up walls and focused on the day in question, sensing a presence in his mind that quickly vanished.

He opened his eyes to see the Siren nod before turning to River, who was still thrashing on the table, the Siren almost seemed to hesitate before placing her fingers on her temples and looking at the date she'd retrieved from the Doctor. The contact this time was mere milliseconds before the Siren retreated from River's mind with a shake of her head, a frown framing her face.

What? He collapsed against the wall, not caring about the mold. But they're married. She'd said she'd done area 52, unless she lied. But she couldn't of, she was in storm cage after all. He was so confused, did she not remember?

River's nightmare seemed to step up a notch and she'd began murmuring, little cries of pain. His hearts clenched for this strong woman before him, this strong woman who confused him to no end. The Siren once again tried to calm River but this time she hadn't even placed her fingers on River's temple before she was knocked back, way further than she had been previously. As quick as a flash the Siren disappeared, terrified of its own patient and the power it possess.

Her nightmare continued on until her limbs began moving of her own accord. The constant slow rhythmic sound of the heart machine juxtaposed River's quick uncontrolled movements. But he could do nothing. It was only when her arm swung up and she knocked the electrodes off of her which were regulating her heart beat did he do something, he waited for what felt like an eternity before he realized the Siren was not returning (too afraid of its patient to save it) did he jump up and click the electrodes back on before cupping her cheeks tenderly with his palms.

"Stop River! You're Safe! Please wake up, you're safe! I'm here!" He implored, voice growing weaker before he almost whispered the last bit. She never really is safe with him is she, never has and he guesses never will. God he'll even cause her death, if he doesn't stop it from happening now of course. His fingertips were lightly stroking the underside of her jaw subconsciously.

Suddenly she stopped, limbs falling still beside her as her eyes opened and he could see the raw panic in them. Before she quickly shut them again, falling limp in his hands.


	3. It's all a lie.

"River!"

He grasped the tops of her arms and began shaking her, her head continuing to hang limply. It was only when he took a deep breath and actually studied the situation did he realize she'd fainted, her brain needing more oxygen (due to her nightmare) than the slow beating of her hearts could supply. As his panic levels dropped he looked down at his hands, shocked when panic quickly made it's return.

He could fit his whole hand around the tops of her arm, his fingers touching each other easily. Gulping he peeled the denim jacket off of her and he felt bile physically climb up his throat at the sight. Her arms were covered in bruises in all shapes and sizes, some old in faint yellows and greens but others looked more recent and painful; ablaze in burning purples and blacks. Among the many, many bruises were scratches and cuts, most of them deep and tender looking. He looked closer still and found an array of pinpricks, burns and scars. Not an inch of her arms appeared unscathed. He was terrified of what the rest of her body looked like.

He looked up once more at her blank face before slowly lifting her white tank top. He couldn't help the gasp that escaped his throat. Guilt began eating away at him again as he scolded himself for admiring her thin frame earlier in the Tardis. Thin, in any sense of the word, could not be used to describe what he could see. Every single rib was clearly visible and her stomach appeared to be in the same state as her arms, littered with a plethora of bruises, cuts and burns. He ran his fingers along her ribs, swallowing once more when he felt that a lot of them were bumpy and raised. And of course she chose this moment to wake up.

"Doctor! What the hell do you think you're doing?" she exclaimed, hands reaching down to yank her tank top back over he exposed mid-section.

"River. What in the name of sanity happened? You're seriously malnourished, I can count each and every one of your bloody ribs. Your arms are covered in cuts and bruises; I can't even imagine what the rest of your body looks like."

She raises one eyebrow up at him in a suggestive manner.

"No! River not like that, not now. This is serious." He snapped in anger before resting his head in the palm of his hands as he leant his elbows against her bed.

He could feel her delicate hands running through his untameable fringe, her actions only seemed to loosen his resolve. "River, dearest. What happened?"

Her hands stilled in his hair as he looked up at her. She seemed physically unable to meet his gaze, her eyes focusing on the patch of moss he'd leant on earlier.

"I..,I.. Stormcage, I mean, the meals don't really live up to my standards so you know sometimes best to leave the meals" She supplied, eyes still focused away from him.

He knew instantly she was lying, he knew his wife like the back of his hand or well he thought that was true before today's events.

"But that's not really it is it River, you have big bags under your eyes, why aren't you sleeping? Where are all these cuts from? Why won't you tell me, why do you insist on lying to me?" he accused, arms failing around as he stood up and turned around, no longer able to look at his Wife and the damage she is displaying on her. Well wife to him at least, in some stupid ludicrous way she either doesn't believe it or has forgotten. It makes no damn sense.

River -ever the warrior- does not take kindly to being shouted at, she's always been quite happy to stand her ground in any argument.

"Fine! You know what, I'll tell you the truth, at least I have the bloody guts to" she practically snarled at him, finally meeting his eyes when he turned around. He had to physically take a step back as he met the unkempt anger in his eyes. Despite being stuck to the machine there was no chance he was getting any nearer to an angry River even if he was insanely interested on what she had to say. And also what does she mean by at least she has the guts to?

She took a deep breath, going through the motions of calming her beating heart (despite not needing to), she continued to look him in the eyes as she spurted words that will forever live and cause him discomfort and pain in his hearts. 

"I don't sleep. Dear god, I avoid it at all costs. Cause if I do surrender then I'm back there, back on the lakeside killing you or I'm slowly drowning at the bottom of the lake, left, discarded like junk by the silence, no longer needed. Or I'm Melody again running away from the spaceman." At this the Doctor could no longer look her in the eyes, he will forever feel the upmost guilt for never being able to save young Melody.

"These cuts, they're from Stormcage".

His head snapped up, she's never had a problem with Stormcage before; whenever he'd seen her it was almost like she was in control, like she ran the place.

"They won't allow me to inflict pain upon myself, I learnt that pretty early on, they seem to be under some strict guidelines they are forced to follow by the shadow proclamation. But they are allowed to enact some inventive forms of punishment. There are quite a few people out there willing to teach the murderer of the Doctor a few lessons". She informed him with almost a regretful tone, as if she believed she deserved the punishments set upon her.

The Doctor spluttered, "But.. but I'm not.."

"Let me finish!" She snapped, eyes sparkling with unshed tears. He remained quiet.

"I don't eat the food at Storm cage because not only is it dreadful but what's the point?" I have nothing to live for anyway. All I'll see for the rest of my days are those cold grey walls of my cell, all I'll hear is the constant pounding of the rain on the bars or the guards abusive words, all I'll smell is my metallic blood on the ends of batons and whips and most importantly all I'll feel is the cold. The cold that somehow manages to find its way into your hearts and kills them from the inside out. Why should I care for this life I live?"

He freezes, shock enveloping his body at the revelation. How had he been so stupid, so dim. How did he even for a second believe that perhaps River would come bake from Silencio with maybe a chill or even a small cold. Anything but this. Not an emotionally broken River.

He watches as River calms herself, attempting to slow the constant beating of her hearts.

He doesn't know what to say except a softly whispered, "Because you're my wife".

She somehow manages to sit up fully, electrodes still stuck in place atop her chest. Her eyes burn with anger as if someone had relighted a fire in what he had thought was burning embers, how could this get any worse? What had he down that had enough energy to relight that fire?

"Wife. How dare you call me that. How dare you mock and belittle me. How dare you make me, even for a second, believe in something you never wanted or believed in before. I've heard of one sided relationships before Doctor, but even this is extreme."

She looks at his shocked face and answers his question even before it had formed on his lips, red and slightly puffy from where he had been biting them to hold his tongue.

"You never did want to marry me, you said as much on that pyramid. God, you tricked me, used me to get what you needed. You even told me how I embarrassed you, how my plan was stupid, how I failed you.

 

"But, River that's not..." He implored before falling silent, unsure on how to respond.

"Well go on! Just admit it already, you were quite happy to say the words on the pyramid. It wasn't even a real wedding."

He, once again, couldn't help the gasp that escaped his throat at her allegation, she either didn't hear him or she didn't care as she continued on, voice lowering in pitch and tone as it transformed from one of anger to one of admittance as if she fully believed what she was saying.

"I remember you asking my parents (well one of them to be fair) for permission but not mine. We used a bow-tie in a world that was literally falling down around us, a world that disintegrated when you whispered into my ear and tricked me into kissing you. I've had a long time to think this over and I've come to realize that's the only reason you effectively quote on quote married me, you never believed I would trust you. You thought I was so narrow-minded, so unbelievably selfish that I wouldn't listen to any plans of yours and therefore you had to lie and deceive me into marriage just so you could whisper the plan in my ear. What does that tell you about me?

He remains silent.

"Exactly. Tells you everything. Why would you want to marry someone like that."

Every time she said the word marry, the disgust was plausible in both her expression and voice his hearts seemed to uncontrollable sink lower every time.

"But of course you didn't marry someone like that, because it wasn't a real marriage. You left your pretend partner in a cold, desolate cell for 3 months before you even thought of turning up, only to whisk her to some old poisoned throne room because she looked sad. Of course she looked sad, she had seen no one but abusive guards and unemphatic jurors and judge's since the moment she killed the man she loved. At least the time she killed him it was in a world that counted."

"Oh River, I am so sorry, I didn't reali..". She didn't let him finish.

"There's nothing to be sorry for. Just my stupidity. Don't know why I ever believed it. Believed I could have that life, a life of a husband an a family who loved me for who I was, but of course not. Was else does a psychopath deserve. And not even a decent one, she couldn't even make the man she gave her lives for give her the tiniest bit of his."

She let out a huge sigh, as if she'd finally gotten this ginormous monster of her chest and was finally free to breathe again.

In some sense it was true, she'd finally got rid of him.


	4. Te Amo

When he spoke his voice sounded so broken

"River, How do I fix this? Please tell me"

She knows what he's asking but she ignores it, "Well the toxin seemed to shut down my hearts so I ..."

"No, not that river. You know what. How do I fix this", he waved his hands between the two of them,"us".

Her laugh is so cold and chilling that he swears he could feel frost enveloping his heart, "Oh sweetie, you can't fix something that was never there in the first place".

"No River, I mean it, how do I fix our marriage"

River's voice took on a deadly tone but was almost begging.

"Doctor, please do not, do not belittle me"

"I'm sorry". River's eyes harden but he beats her to it, "No, hear me out. Please" The last word sounds so pitiful and filled with so much sorrow that she lets him, she does love him after all.

"Your Mum and Dad have traveled with me for so long and we've been on so many adventures, chaos and heartbreak have ensured along the way but none to such the extent of Demons Run. I will forever feel guilty for what I put you and your parents through, I couldn't save you, their only daughter. I lost you. Like I will someday lose them. And it hurts so much and I know I'll never forgive myself..

She cuts him off, incorrectly guessing what he's getting at

"Oh Sweetie, you could have just said that many months ago, but I guess now will do, you don't have to stay. She leaves out the with me. You're free to go. I'm no longer your obligation. My parents don't need me anymore, they have you. "

He glances up sharply, stunned. "You are many things, River, but you have never once been an obligation

She doesn't react to his bold statement apart from pursing her lips and pondering for a few seconds, seconds that seemed to drag on for hours.

"I was so scared and upset when I arrived at Stormcage, so alone and lost. But the time away from everyone made me think, made me see sense of this mad, ridiculous relationship we seem to have here." She fidgets with the Iight fabric of her sleeves, she glanced away from him, focusing on a spot on the far wall.

"I finally understand why you said all those things to me on the pyramid, why you never came back after all those months, you didn't have a choice like I did. My whole life I was raised with stories of you, every moment of my childhood revolved around you."

He had the good gracious to look at his feet.

"They spent so long filling my head with you that it made complete sense that I could fall in love with no one else apart from you. Ever since you saved me in Berlin I wanted to be yours so badly, so much that I guess it corrupted me, how everything I did, I did for you. And I guess that made you feel guilty, the Silence may not have achieved what they were planning for but they did manage to meld me into the perfect psychopath, a psychopath who could think of nothing else apart from the person she was made to think about. Just imagine how stupid I felt when I realized this, when I realized they had succeeded in half of their mission and I guess you were smart enough and not blinded by love to realize this much sooner than I, the guilt most have eaten you alive, for the little Melody you knew was no more. Now just a love sick, broken psychopath who would do anything to please you, no wonder you felt tied to me. Stuck thinking you had to make up for something that shouldn't have been there in the first place.

He was staring at her, mouth agape, shocked at the words coming out of her mouth, this couldn't be his River. Well, not his River. Not yet anyway.

River seemed to take it as a sign that she had hit the jackpot, hit his feelings right on and decided to fix them once and for all, relieve him of this burden. Her.

"I have no use for your guilt Doctor, I no longer need or want it, you're forgiven".

He stares at her in silence, mulling her words over for long tedious minutes. It's only when she looks over at him with brave, selfless eyes does he finally snap.

A soft, growling noise escapes his throat that he doesn't think he'd be able to replicate in any of his lives ever again. "River Song, you are the most stubborn, infuriating person I have ever met".

Her words from earlier come back to him, 'how I failed you', how'd he mess this up so much, mess her up so much. She could never ever fail him, in fact he failed her, he took her and broke and smashed her into so many pieces that he fears he can never piece her back together again.

He steadies himself before walking over to where she lay still attached to that horrible, beeping machine. He runs a hand through her curls, their softness calming him ever so slightly, she just has that ability one simple touch from her can calm him from whatever it is that's hurting him, but it's not enough this time, nor does he ever thing it will be.

"You can give me all of this River, all this forgiveness, I may never take it, god I don't deserve anything of that sort, especially from you, but please don't you ever say you failed me, I was the one to fail you, I was not the husband I needed to be or the great protector people make me out to be, but please don't you ever, ever doubt my love for you."

She stares up at him, eyes glistening.

It's only then he realizes what he said, or most importantly nearly said. He's never said that to anyone since his first wife on Gallifrey, he couldn't, the words has never been able to form on his tongue before. But he'd said it to her, of course he did, he loves her.

"I love you".

She physically gasps this time and her eyes can no longer hold the river back and gentle rivulets run the surface of her cheeks.

"River Song, I bloody love you"

He peppers kisses along the entirety of her face, he kisses her forehead, both eyes, the tracks of her tears and most importantly her lips.

"I love you and don't you ever forget it."

Her eyes continue to swim and he sees sparkles of hope leek through, all he needs to do now is help it break through.

He kisses her once more for good luck before murmuring the humaney phrase once more, he doesn't think he'll ever tire of saying it to her.

"It counted. Our wedding always counted and always will. You are my wife, you are part of my mind and soul and you belong in both of my hearts. I am so sorry you saw that side of me on the pyramid, I was so scared so I forced all my anger and hatred on you and I'll never forgive myself for that, but you are my wife, my one and only equal and I trust you to see the Doctor I hate and let him in, not chase him away. Unless he's being, as your mother would adequately put it, a Mr Grumpy face then feel free to smack him away, he deserves it if he hurts you."

"Dear god, I'll marry you again, and again - in every universe, parallel dimension or other completely impossible space/time event. Because you are my wife and I love you."

Suddenly he feels a hand tugging his hair and just as he is about to complain he opens his mouth and suddenly feels another in its place, he no longer wishes to complain for it is such a lovely mouth. Lovely really isn't the right word for it enchanting, exquisite, delicious. Oh he can't focus on that anymore, she's successfully managed to fry his brain. Their kiss this time is fierce and their mouths meet one another in a demanding battle, fighting for everything and nothing at the same time. He cradles his hands in her curls - tongue slides against her - clinging to her, both overwhelmed and immensely grateful for what he's holding in his arms. When they can no longer carry on they break apart, he has a few glorious seconds where he can see the unconditional love and happiness in her eyes before they roll back and she faints once again.

Now that just won't do, he couldn't go the rest of her life snogging her only for her to faint afterwards. He doesn't think anyone's ego could take that. He lays her head back down slowly and continues to stroke his hand through her curls, whispering promises of love, protection and safety that he knows deep down will never last, the Universe is cruel like that.

He notices her eyes fluttering and swoops down to lay a kiss on her lips, she smiles beneath his lips and murmurs a breathless "hello sweetie". He leans back, only marginally of course, "As much as I love the naughty implications of this sweetie, being stuck to this machine is not really the most ideal thing, think Stormcage would have a few things to say about it."

"No yes, you're right dear," He notices the soft smile she makes at his term of endearment and he promises to himself he will use them as often as possible if it means she makes that tiny smile of contentment.

"Now how do y..." he murmurs to himself as he looks the machine up and down, his screwdriver buzzing away

"You need to do CPR my love, restart my hearts."

"What? CPR, no River, have you seen my arms, I can't do that," he begins to panic, screwdriver forgotten in his hand.

"Sure sweetie, you'll be fine, I've seen what you've got under that ridiculous tweed of yours"

He squeaks and turns a delightful shade of red, "Rivaaah, don't say that, what If I do it wrong?"

"What if I can't do it and yo..uou.." his voice drips off at the end as fear begins to form and settle.

He feels a soft hand cradle his jaw, turning his head to look at her, her touch reassuring him immensely, "Sweetie you'll be fine, I trust you".

He nods his head and cups her hand before placing a soft kiss upon her lips, "I love you". If he fails and she doesn't make it then that's the last thing he wants her to remember.

He closes his eyes before yanking the electrodes of her chest and starting the chest compressions. Her lips no longer felt as inventing and wonderful when they weren't moving against his. He couldn't think about that now, he had to think about why she wasn't waking. It had been at least a minute now, oh god, he began to panic what if her body was too weak, what if the inside was as badly damaged as the out. He couldn't risk carrying on anymore, she'll kill him for this, but at least she'll be alive to do it, he feels his hands begin to warm up as he places them on her chest. He somehow manages to not shut his eyes as he focuses on her chest, the golden light swirling around them and lighting up the dark, dingy room.

He pulls his hands back and steps away, only marginally, hands now firmly encased in her hair. The light fades around them as they are once again basked in darkness. Why wasn't anything happening?

He sees her chest rise faintly. Finally. He hugs her to him, cradling her in his arms and failing to choke back a relieved sob.

She trembled in his arms before she began to cough, he regrettably released her from the safe entanglement of his arms as she sat up and got used to breathing on her own again.

She turned to him and began to smile before stopping, she could feel it, the energy humming through her system. He's never quick enough as she turns and slaps him before she drags him down by his collar and their lips fuse together once more. He's not sorry for doing it, nor will he ever be, she's alive right now and that's all that matters. They break apart fairly quickly, River's respiratory system still not fully restored, he sits up on the small 'bed' and pulls her onto his lap and wraps his arms around her once more, wishing to never let her go. He presses kisses and soft apologies into her curls and they stay there for what feels like years before she becomes impatient and throws her arms backwards and latches onto his soft locks -dragging his mouth down to hers.

-=+=-------------------------------------------=+=-

 

Before they left the Doctor revisited the throne room and deactivated the low-frequency emitter device and consequently freed the Siren, allowing it freedom after so many centuries of entrapment.

They left the planet and River spent many weeks on the Tardis with him, an extended honeymoon they're calling it, it was only when her bruises and scratched had turned to scars did she allow them to visit a beach. There was only one beach he had in mind. She slapped him, twice, when she realised where he was taking her but he persisted, the Tardis on his side for whatever reason. He wanted to help remove the nightmares that plagued her dreams most nights and he thought if he replaced or at least created some happier memories at that location than perhaps it may over-ride some of her nightmares. So he took her to the lake-side and presented her with a ring. A simple yet sophisticated silver band with small circles engraved on the inside, circles that spoke of love and marriage, circles that could only be read by two people in the universe. A ring so heartfelt and meaningful and clearly hand-made that River promised to never take it off again.

She wore it on a chain necklace, close to her beating hearts and he wore a matching one with similar engravings on his left ring finger, where it was always supposed to be. Everything felt right and finally it was now both the Doctor's and River's turn to face what the Universe throws against them with their partner by their side every step of the way; well most of them. The Universe does like to muddle things up every once in a while, but when has that ever stopped them before?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go, finally finished. Thanks for all those who stuck with me and reviewed along the way, I'm away for the next week so I'll be unable to upload anything new but I'm hoping I'll find a few spare minutes to brainstorm some more ideas - just can't get enough of River and the Doctor and their wonderful, timey-wimey relationship.


End file.
